Women on the Scene at Sectionals

Okay, Team, the long wait is over. Here is the Woman on the Scene report from sectionals. I have been reading all things Homer recently, so this is in the style of the Odyssey (the Vivassey, if you will). Thanks to those of you who sent in memorable moments, and thanks to Lina for helping me write it.

Sing to me of the team, Muse, the team of speed and grrr, driving a long uncaffeinated hour through fog and cold, playing game upon game,
thinking no thought but to conquer the wet fields of Burlithaca.
Many teams they met along the way, many adventures they had in the end zone,
many passionate moments on the sideline. Strange new offenses confronted them,
run by small-breasted women blown down from distant lands
by the zone-hungry winds of Aeoleus. Trapped often, foundering
in the still waters of a 1-3-3 -- Sing, Muse, how VIVA,
beaters of Moxie, overcame all this (and more!), earning the glory and title:
Seattle's Second Best.

Who were the fearless, cleated ones who undertook that journey?
There was Maddy, sprung from Height and Speed.
There were the fierce but chaste Michigonians, Jess and Wu and Dara.
Swift-footed Liz, high-jumping Laney, calm-throwing Erin, and finally-healthy Debbie; Julia Gulia and Ava Gava; Deirdre, Sara, and Lina, cohabitants and sisters in partydom. There were Nancy and Anne, renowned champions of Beerfriz; the youthful Yaya and the wise Katie O, mother of Kieran. Led by noble captains Sarah RV, Neva, and Meredith, and supported by cheerers Stephanie, Megan, and Lisa, and by Schuyler, caller of substitues, VIVA, woke on Sunday
hungry for victory.

Dawn came with her red-rosy fingertips, unrolling across the earth a blanket of
thick fog through which Ava, leader of eternal warm-up jogs,
navigated with swift grace. At opposite ends of the field,
barely visible to each other through the mist, VIVA, beaters of Moxie, and yellow-clad Riot, performed dueling plyometrics.
The first point was long with many turnovers. So mighty Zeus on Mount Olympus went to his golden scales and on one side he placed yellow-clad Riot, with their fearsome reputation. On the other side he placed VIVA, fated for glory but with hardships along the way.
Zeus' golden scales tipped toward Riot, and he commanded the gods into
action. Cunning Athena covered VIVA's eyes in a mist, ensuring many turfed
throws. Zeus himself rained pellets of hail onto the disc, making it slippery
and uncatchable. Noble Paris shot leaded arrows into the heels of VIVA, while
swift Hermes lifted the legs of yellow-clad Riot, speeding them to victory.
Just 47 minutes long, the game ended with VIVA scoreless.

Still full of breath and fire, VIVA prepared to take glory in the next game.
Each spoke in turn: swift-footed Liz promised many D's, long-abstinent Jess promised many panties, and Anne, biter-off of heads, and Lina, taker of dumps, were inspirational too. Then Neva, in a voice three octaves above anything Juvenile ever intended, led her team in a Siren's song, and many a
Moxie player felt a yearning draw towards VIVA, for they knew
who would take the day.
And so the game began. VIVA played with such fervor -- their offense so calm,
their defense so peppery -- that the Moxies were sure
these were no mortal opponents. The handlers executed flawless dump-swings;
the cutters were in constant motion; Wu and Neva and Maddy shut down the Colossus; and Erin had great D's. VIVA took a swift 4-0 lead.
Halftime came, and the score was 8-3. Each VIVA remembered that they had been
here before, and last time the glory went to Moxie. Thus, they vowed to be
more careful, and value each disc as though it were the golden fleece of Jason.
Moxie, however, recalled that day with proud excitement, certain they would
come back again, confident that history would repeat itself. Such hubris
offended queen Hera, wife and sister to mighty Zeus. She blasted down upon
Moxie such confusion that they made strange hucks to nobody and argued insane
calls, as though infused with some ancient hallucinogen.
The game went to VIVA, 14-8, ensuring that their glory would be spread
throughout the land and passed through the generations, always to be remembered
as VIVA, beaters of Moxie.
Further glory went to Maddy, crowned MVP of the game by Moxie, and to Yaya, who was given a Spirit Award.

Continuing their journey through Sectionals, VIVA was blown into foreign waters,
where they encountered a tall race of women who spoke a language known as Zone.
VIVA tried to answer Prime, but could not escape their own custom,
which was to work the disc carefully up the field to the brink of the end zone,
then turn it over. And so, like Sisyphus rolling his boulder eternally uphill,
VIVA struggled through this game. They played noble defense, and even
scored a point, on a daring throw from Wu to Lina. Nonetheless, the glory
went to Prime.

Before their last game, VIVA had a bye: 2 hours to rest their wave-tossed
bodies and refresh themselves with sweet gatorade and bagels. Apollo drew
forth the sun, burning away the morning's haze and casting a warm glow
on all of Burlithaca. Some of VIVA trekked through the fields to watch a very boring game of MF United, and some even fell asleep under Apollo's warm rays.
The time was perhaps best spent by Sadie and Sara, who engaged in a contest
to see who was the grosser. Many rounds they went, citing episodes of
pre-chewed food and many things to do with underwear. In the end, neither
was declared the victor because the wise judge, Anne, passed out upon hearing
what Sadie did with a cricket.

Still hungry for competition, VIVA shed their heavy uniforms and scrimmaged
themselves topless to prepare for the final game. Then they took on Hussy,
another team from the northern realms. VIVA performed well against Hussy's
1-3-3, using many well-placed break throws. Against the Hussy O -- a strange
horizontal stack in constant motion -- VIVA fared more poorly, letting many enemies escape to the end zone. Exhausted, they battled on, though Sarah bent her back strangely and Ava spent much time on the ground (or on her way there). In the end, the glory went to Hussy, 13-8.

Nevertheless, VIVA went home happy with the day's successes ... happy until
they discovered their wives beset by suitors and their homes depleted of wine
and treasure.

PS-
In an act of tireless journalistic integrity, your WOTS has visited the blind prophet Tiresius. He promises wonderful victories and shining moments of happiness for VIVA at Regionals. Also, Jess will get the clap.