Women on the Scene at Kleinman

The sun shone hot upon Interstate 5 Sunday, as blazing brushfires swept southern Washington. People milled around an endless line of cars that hadn't moved for hours, cursing and sweating, and skateboarding with nihilistic determination. It was like a long, thin tailgate party whose attendees had just learned that their team had been eaten by a big ugly monster and wouldn't be playing the Cougars after all. Somewhere in the middle, the Frustrated Four (Dara, Nancy, Sadie, and Anne) took a moment to reflect on the weekend's events.

They had set out Friday night full of joy and optimism and Sadie's yummy rice crispie treats. After a pleasant drive, they arrived at the fieldside Days Inn, whose swankness was marred by a putrid smell that could have been attributed to the rotting of anything from Chinese food to Caesar salad, and whose nastiness was to be surpassed only by the Tacoma Aroma on the drive home (why, Weyerhauser, why?). There is not much to report about the night except that Nancy, who slept with Anne, woke up with a big smile, and Sadie, who slept with Dara, woke up on the floor.

On Saturday morning, the Well-Rested Four crossed the street to meet their teammates (Andrea, Ava, Debbie, Deirdre, Lina, Liz, and Meredith, Neva, and Sara) at the fields. The sun was shining, the grass was full and damp, and there were pretty little flower baskets lining the field complex. All in all, a lovely setting.

VIVA's first game was against Portland's own Schwa, a fast, tall team with a solid trap zone. Despite a relatively weak VIVA man-D, Schwa had a lot of turnovers. Throughout the game, VIVA's offense capitalized on this with increasing success working the disc up the field, but always seemed to have trouble getting the disc into the end zone. Sealing the deal, if you will. Slipping it in. Finishing. The final score was 3-15. Game highlight = Sadie's handblock in the first point.

VIVA then had a luxurious 2.5 hour bye, which they spent doing a variety of fun things. Some cheered on other teams; some hung out at frisbee central, bogarting all of the gummy bears and natural fruit juices (best tournament food ever!). Ava ventured to a Portland bike shoppe to get her low-rider all tricked out for the next meeting of the Wallingford Xtreme Low-Riders Biker Gang, and Andrea returned for another round in the Mirror Room at the Fantasy Motel.

Errands complete, VIVA returned to the sloping fields of Delta Park for its second game, against the Bay Area team Homebrood. VIVA's defense was still having trouble containing the open side (the phrase 'heads in asses' was uttered more than once this day). But the VIVA O flourished in the warm glow of Homebrood's middle force, zigging and zagging up the field like a well-practiced waterskier traversing the crisp flat waters of the Caribbean. Highlights from this game include a layout D by Neva and a crowd-rousing layout grab by Lina. Final score = 5-15.

With two solid losses under its belt, VIVA moved into what it hoped would be the more competitive half of the day, facing its third opponent, Eugene-based All Jane. At first, VIVA and All Jane traded points like they were shoddy Mariners players, ending the half with a claws-out, snarling debate about the score (All Jane thought it was 8-4, VIVA thought it was 9-5 but gave in when one of the Janes' heads exploded). No matter -- All Jane didn't score in the second half. In fact, they hadn't scored since VIVA turned on its mighty zone defense in the middle of the first half, a tribute to tireless cuppers and some excellent deep D's by Debbie. Final score = 15- 5 (or was it 14-4??? VIVA would learn from this dispute, and thereafter keep score with the pretzels that Debbie had purchased in vast excess from CostCo).

At long last, VIVA turned its face to the ultimate ultimate challenge of the day, the game against fellow Seattle team Moxie. This was the game that had been on VIVA's collective mind all day, nay all season, and the team was raring to go fresh after its rousing defeat of All Jane. Moxie, meanwhile, had just finished a tough game against Schwa. VIVA came out strong, cutting hard and making very smart decisions. They took an early lead, stopping Moxie with both man and zone D. Halftime score = 8-3. {This part is speculation: At halftime, discouraged by the way her team had been playing, Anne Marie made derogatory comments about the mothers of her Moxie teammates, berating them with harsh words until Moxie found its Moxie} Moxie came out strong in the second half, playing much tougher D, and using its insanely tall women to catch score after score. This, coupled with many untimely silly mistakes by VIVA, led to a quick Moxie comeback. The teams were tied at 10 when VIVA finally turned its gears again, but alas it was too late, and Moxie won in the hard cap with a throw to an insanely tall woman. Final score = 11-13. Highlights of the game = beautiful hucks by Deirdre (don't worry, she had a license), perfectly-timed dump cutting by Ava, and excellent getting open by Dara.

After the game, Moxie awarded an MVP to Deirdre, a Spirit Award to Andrea, and a Generally Great Running Around award to Liz, who had indeed been playing out of her head all day, under coercion of her teammates who knew they would miss her on Sunday, when she left for Finland to see the World Championships of your favorite sport and mine, Synchronized Swimming.

It was an unsatisfying end to the day, but fortunately Andrea had brought a keg, and the drowning of sorrows began early. After a satisfying shower, during which NOBODY jumped naked into the nearby swimming pool, VIVA made its way through ungodly industrial Portland to the dinner/party/campground at Kelly Park. Many moments of glory transpired there, including a Porpoise by Sara and a wild VIVA dance circle whose licentious behavior stopped only when the lame-ass DJ didn't play Dancing Queen after approximately 300 polite requests (he didn't play Anne's Favorite Dancing Song either. lame-ass). But by far the most glorious event of the party was Anne and Nancy's rousing defeat of Everyone Else at BeerFriz, proving once and for all that BeerFriz is BeerFriz and everyone else can go crying home to their Middlebury mommies. Ha. Mysteriously absent from the festivities was Debbie, engaged no doubt in some scandalous behavior with her 6-lb bag of pretzels (and VIVA wanted them -- oh, how they wanted them).

And so, amidst waning dance music and the clang of suzie sticks (like beerfriz, only suckier), and under the second full moon of July, Saturday turned into Sunday, and VIVA slept on. In the morning, Neva and Meredith kicked everyone until they woke up, then ran away before vengeance could be had.

Back at the fields, VIVA prepared to face Schwa once again. This game was notable for an experimental force middle defense by VIVA, a swell give-go by Lina and Andrea through the Schwa zone, and a marvelous sequence of turnovers in which the disc slipped out of Andrea's hands and went the wrong direction, a Schwa player threw it mysteriously out of bounds to no- one, and Deirdre sent a massive huck flying into the branches of the only tree in the whole field complex. Final score = 2-15. A moment of silence, please, for the Away-and-Looking-Over-the- Shoulder Cut, which was laid to rest in the middle of this game in a very moving service presided over by Meredith. The Cut will not be missed. It is survived by its better offspring, Eye Contact and Smart Throws.

Next, VIVA encountered All Jane and vowed to thwart them as they had never been thwarted before. Despite being the last game of the tournament and having few subs, VIVA ran hard. Sara had lovely deep cuts, Meredith and Anne had hand blocks, Nancy had a super D, and VIVA tried a 1-3-3, with Sadie as a firey beast. One of the most exciting moments of this game was a long throw from Anne to Debbie in the end zone. Although Debbie did not catch it, she ran so hard that the stitches from her surgery came undone and she gave birth to an alien creature right on the field! Although Lina did not dress as a frog, VIVA won the game handily, 14-5, ending on a very very smart play in which Deirdre called time out at the end zone, All Jane took approximately 8 minutes to set up their defense, and Neva took approximately 8 seconds to get open and score.

In the end, these remeniscences helped the passengers of Dara's car survive the intense boredom caused by the I-5 brushfire. But fortunately, they had some misadventures along the way. After not seeing a prarie dog all weekend, Dara had to make a sudden pit stop. She was gone for hours, and meanwhile Sadie, Nancy, and Anne were nearly picked up (or nearly shot?) by an unattractive man in a large truck. Later, weaving through wildfire and thick road rage, Nancy pushed Sadie out of the car in the hopes of becoming a handler.

But all's well that ends well. The fun of Kleinman can be relived again and again, when we all gather as a team to watch the riveting footage of the trailer behind the field that was actually captured live on tape by VIVA's own Academy-Award winning filmmaker, Deirdre.

With love,
Your WOTS,
Anne, Dara, Nancy, and Sadie